Forgotten Time
by Misaki Sakura
Summary: Completed! What happened when Sirius forgot everything about James?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer : As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me.  
Pairing : James x Sirius, slight Harry x Draco and Snape x  
Lupin  
Lily x Daniel (my character) and others.  
Summary : James and Lily had finally been brought back to  
life. But how about Sirius? Could he forgive James after what  
he'd done to him? What did he want to forget the most? What  
happened when it's James that he forgot?  
  
Forgotten Time  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Ch. One : Loneliness Knows Me by Name  
  
He could hear Harry calling him, shouting his name as he drifted off into the darkness. Darkness ... he was used to that. He had spent twelve years in Azkaban, perfect place to live, huh? But he had known the darkness far before that. Why were they crying? All of them, his friends, ... they're all crying. For what?  
  
His hands felt numb. Why? Was that because he had crawled on the snow? The snow ... white ... cold ... he sought for warm in the arms that were wrapped around his body. He felt his body's lifted.  
  
His mind wandered back to the past as he felt his body swayed. Happier memories that he kept deep in his heart.  
  
Flashback  
  
"Hi!"  
  
Sirius looked at the ten-year-old boy who had just stepped into the compartment. His raven-coloured hair was unruly and his eyeglasses hid his dark eyes.  
  
"The other compartments are full. Mind if I sit here?"  
  
"Suit yourself."  
  
He smiled and sat in front of Sirius. "I'm James Potter. What's your name?"  
  
"Sirius Black." He replied curtly.  
  
He saw the other boy's eyes started to darken at the sound of his name. There's no one who didn't know about the Blacks. They're Muggle-hater and obviously great supporters of the Dark Side, even though they're not known as Death-Eaters. Sirius found the bespectacled boy studying him as he studied the other boy's expression. They waited. Sirius waited for him to stand up and leave him alone like the others had done. But what happened later had never been thought by him.  
  
James Potter threw him another smile and said, "You have a wonderful name. You do know that Sirius is a star's name, don't you? I think it suits you very much. So, do you play quidditch?"  
  
End of Flashback  
  
James ... Yes, that's the first time he'd ever seen James. They're befriended right after that. James was the first person who had offered to become his friend. He had never asked him to, knowing that he didn't have any rights to do that.  
  
How fast the years went by and now he found himself in nothingness, without anything. He wanted to keep his mind away from James. The best memories he'd ever had, yet also the worst ones, even worse than the memories of his parents but they flowed out of his mind and started to playback before his eyes. The things he needed to forget, the person he needed to forget ... James Potter ...  
  
Flashback  
  
"Black, Sirius!"  
  
He sat down on the stool while McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on his head. He could hear voice in his head, the Sorting Hat's. By the blood that ran in his veins, he's supposed to be in Slytherin where all the pureblooded Muggle-haters were. But he was not a Muggle-hater, he would never be. He didn't want to be in Slytherin, especially after he could befriend with James. James had given him a reassuring smile, saying that everything would be okay. Yes, if only he could be in the same House as James, even if it's Slytherin, he could handle.  
  
But he knew just well that James would never be a Slytherin. A Slytherin wouldn't smile angelically like he did. Slytherins always put a mask of hypocrisy and flattered everybody with their serpent tongue. No, James' definitely not going to be a Slytherin and that meant that he wouldn't be there too.  
  
He closed his eyes tightly when he heard the Sorting Hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!!"  
  
End of Flashback  
  
He had been a Gryffindor and the Gryffindors were known for their bravery. But he didn't have any. Why had the Sorting Hat chosen him to be in Gryffindor? But he didn't regret it. He was in the same House as James Potter and that's the best thing that had ever happened to him in his life, well other than when James ...  
  
But it's too late now. James had Lily. They belonged to each other. He had accepted it, he had to. And he had done it since about ... seventeen ... or was that eighteen years ago? He had lost track of time. Whatever. As hard as it might be, he didn't know what to do except leaving James with his family for good. ... Until Voldemort came.  
  
Flashback  
  
He was sitting with Remus in the library. It's not Sirius to come to the library but he came anyway. He needed to talk to Remus but he didn't know what to say either so they just sat there in silence. Finally Remus closed his book and stared at him.  
  
"What is it, Padfoot? You've come all the way to this, the way you say it, den of book-worms, one of the places that I know you hate the most, and you didn't do anything. Just sit there and ..."  
  
"Rem, I think I'm in love with James."  
  
He bit his lower lip as he spilled his secret to his best friend. Remus raised an eyebrow at that and set his eyes on Sirius' completely. "Are you sure? Do you really think so or you know it?"  
  
"I know I'm in love with James. Happy?"  
  
He nodded and smiled. Sirius waited, but he didn't say anything else and returned his attention to his book. "Well, what should I do?" he asked in utter annoyance.  
  
"Do you really need me to tell you what to do? I think you've figured it out yourself. Tell him." He glanced up from his book.  
  
"What if he didn't feel the same? He would never want to speak to me again."  
  
"That's the risk but I don't think he would ditch you, Padfoot. He'll be shocked, yes, but he won't discard you as a friend."  
  
Sirius nodded, but then the doubt struck him again. "But what if he chose to be with Evans? I don't think I would survive if he rejected me, Remus. Why do I have to fall in love with my own best friend for Merlin's sakes?!"  
  
"Padfoot, I'd want to lower your voice if I were you." Came a very familiar voice from behind Sirius' back. Remus grinned and made his retreat.  
  
Sirius turned around to find no one other than James Potter, standing in front of him with his hands inside his pockets. His lips formed a tender smile that could make Sirius swoon. He was sure that James had heard his last sentence and the only thing he could do was wait for his reactions.  
  
James gave him a smug grin as he placed his hands on the table, each at the either side of Sirius' head, forcing him to back against the table further. "So," he asked in a somewhat seductive tone, "You fall in love with your best friend, huh? And who's that, Padfoot? Of course I don't want to flatter myself but I personally think I know who you meant."  
  
Sirius gulped but managed to smile. "And who do you think it is?"  
  
James leant in and closed the gap between them. After he released Sirius, he muttered, "I think, my dear Sirius, that's enough for an answer." And kissed him once again fully on the lips.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
James, James ... Sirius would never know why he couldn't get him out of his head. The pasts that kept playing over and over inside his head ... he wanted to forget them. He wanted them to vanish from his memories but he knew as much as he wanted it to, a part of him wanted to keep them still.  
  
Then the voices came once more. The voices of his friends, Harry, and the others ... the feeling of his body being carried away and laid down on the bed. White ... and a soft, warm finger trailed down his cheekbone. He leant in to the touch that he knew so well but how could it be? Wasn't he dead? Wasn't ... James dead?  
  
"Why can't you give him the same potion you used on me, Snape?" James eyed Snape with anger and his tone only consisted a bit sound of pleading.  
  
"Because, Potter, the one I used on you was a Resurrection Potion and not a Resuscitation Potion. And that's what Black need. He's not dead yet, he's comatose."  
  
Snape had successfully brought James and Lily back to life after Voldemort's defeat. Of course, Remus had forced him to look for Sirius too but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't find him. Then the idea struck him. What if he hadn't died in the first place? Of course they couldn't look for his spirit if he's not dead and of course a living person couldn't be resurrected.  
  
Dumbledore asked the Order to look for him all over and they finally found him outside of Hogsmeade near the cave he had sought shelter in Harry's fourth year. Nobody knew how he got there but they guessed that he had somehow manage to make his way, probably crawling and dragging himself all the way, to Hogsmeade.  
  
At least, he's alive. At least, they still had a chance to see him. Oh, how James panicked when he saw him lying there on the snow, almost buried in it. He had brought Sirius to the castle for Madam Pomfrey's treatment because that's the closest place he could come up with. How distressed his face looked right now as he caressed Sirius pale face. Some tears were ready to roll down his cheeks again.  
  
"Snape, you can bring us back to life but you can't wake him up."  
  
"I didn't say I couldn't, Potter." He snapped back in exasperation. "I've given him the Resuscitation Potion Madam Pomfrey got from the Hospital and now all we can do is wait." Snape quickly make his way out of the Hospital Wings.  
  
Harry always came there after his classes with his friends and one Draco Malfoy in tow. They got together in the beginning of his seventh year. Ron and Hermione weren't into that but they could accept it eventually knowing how stubborn Harry could become when he wanted to.  
  
Lily and James' marriage had been annulled due to their request since they found out that they had never loved each other and being together would only cause the pain grew deeper, for their respective lovers actually. The truth was ... their marriage was meant to be a sort of revenge but now they regretted it when they thought how childish they were. She moved in with her former lover, now his fiancée, Daniel Irving and came to visit Sirius once in a while. Sometimes she would look at Sirius and James then at Harry and sighed. It seemed like something had been bothering her mind.  
  
That day after classes as usual, Harry walked in with Draco tailing him. "How's he, Dad?" asked the seventeen-year-old boy once he sat on the chair near Sirius' bed.  
  
"Just like this. Nothing's changed."  
  
Harry had to bite his lower lip to hold himself from crying. Draco gave him a pat on the back and said that he would be back after the quidditch practice. That left James and Harry alone with an unconscious Sirius.  
  
Harry loved his godfather, he really did. For once, he had thought that he could have a real family with him but because of Pettigrew, the chance had flown out the window. Now that Pettigrew had gone, he wanted to be with the people he loved ... his parents, Sirius, Draco, his friends.  
  
Seeing Sirius' condition made him wanted to cry over and over. There were so many things that he had done for Harry. Escaping from Azkaban after spending twelve years there 'cause Pettigrew had framed him, that filthy rat, not to mention watching over him always, the things that he couldn't believe he would do for him. Yes, he was his godfather but for him, he's more than that. Sirius was his friend, his patron, his Dad's ex-lover ...  
  
"Harry, you can rest if you want to." James looked up at his son and smiled exhaustedly. The tension that occurred between them when they first saw each other had gone. They're family and at that kind of time, they needed family even more, for support that he had never had for years.  
  
"No, I'll stay." Harry pulled his chair closer to Sirius' bed and looked at him closely. "He'll get better, Dad. I'm sure of it. Sn- I mean, Professor Snape has given him the potion he needs. He'll ... wake up ..."  
  
James gave him a nod, though he was unsure, but he knew that's what Harry needed. He needed the comfort and of course assurance that his godfather could wake up. All it took was time.  
  
James missed his smile, his laugh, how his eyes looked when it glinted with mischief, everything about Sirius Black that could make him went crazy. He missed him so much and when he remembered their last meeting, he regretted his words and cursed his stupidity. He had said hurtful things to Sirius that night, yes he had, and he would do anything to make it up to him even if he asked him to get down on his knees begging for forgiveness.  
  
Harry got up from his seat silently and gave James a nod before walking out to the Great Hall. James turned his head to Sirius again and took his hand before kissing it.  
  
"Please, wake up, Sirius. I love you."  
  
And though he knew it'd be too late for him to say that, he wanted Sirius to hear that. He knew he'd do anything to make it up to him and if Sirius wasn't going to wake up, he was more than willing to join him, wherever he was.  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : That's the end for this chapter. Do you think it's too short  
or too long? Should I go on with this story or should I stop it right  
here right now? It's all depended on your reviews. Well, I think I'll  
continue this no matter how your review will be but still, I want to  
know what you think. So R&R, please! 


	2. Angel's Wings

Disclaimer : As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me. Summary : See the previous chapter.  
  
Forgotten Time  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Ch. Two : Angel's Wings  
  
Lily jiggled her leg in frustration and annoyance. She had kept her promise to Sirius for years and it had made her extremely frustrated. Oh, promises were meant to be kept, right? But she had had enough. He deserved the best as well as James and Harry deserved to know the truth. So she stood up and slowly, with determination, approached James who's still holding Sirius' hands with Harry sitting across him. Yes, they had to know.  
  
"James, Harry, we need to talk. It's very important."  
  
James gave her a weary glance and nodded his head. Harry looked at her with curiosity and nodded his head too in assent.  
  
"Good. What I'm going to tell you is actually a secret between me and Sirius," she gestured towards the comatose dark-haired man, "I'm not supposed to tell you this. If he knew, he'd probably strangle me." she took a deep breath before spurting out, "Harry is not my son."  
  
Both men gasped in unison. "What do you mean, Lil? You're his mother, of course." James sounded confused and bewildered.  
  
"No, I'm not." She stated once more. "He is." She pointed Sirius who's still had his eyes closed.  
  
They once again gasped. Lily gave them a nod and sighed, "I know I have to keep this secret as I promised but it'll be very unfair for him."  
  
"How could ... how did it happen?" Harry managed to form words while James' mouth still hanged open.  
  
"It was almost eighteen years ago ..."  
  
Flashback  
  
Lily walked out of St. Mungo Hospital with tears stung in her eyes. How was she supposed to tell James about this? They had been married only for two months by now and if he found out ... he'd definitely leave her. She wiped her tears with one hand and was thinking to go to the Longbottoms' house to see Alice when she heard someone called her.  
  
"Lily! What are you doing here?"  
  
Sirius smiled at her as if he had just won a lottery. She was so amazed that Sirius still wanted to be her friend after she took James away from him. Well, not that she did it intentionally. James was the one who made a move on her first and that happened once again after his fight with Sirius. So they broke up and James married her. She really didn't know why James had the guts to ask Sirius to be his best man in their wedding. She knew it would tear his heart greatly but he had accepted it. And now there he stood, still with his smile plastered on his face.  
  
"Lil?"  
  
She didn't know what to do so she flung herself to Sirius and sobbed uncontrollably. He was aghast but then patted her head and comforted her. "Do you want to talk about your problem, Lil?"  
  
She nodded her head. He took her to the park and sat her on one of the bench then he sat beside her. She kept silent. Her eyes set on the children who're currently playing swings.  
  
"Children are amazing, don't you think, Sirius?" She broke the silence.  
  
"Yes." He smiled tenderly.  
  
"But I won't have them."  
  
Sirius turned his head and once again saw the tears ran on her cheeks. "What do you mean, Lily?"  
  
"I can't have any children, Sirius. I'm sterile!!" she buried her head in her hands and started sobbing again.  
  
Sirius just sat there. James' words came swirling in his mind and how he wanted to hit that man for ... This time he didn't know what to say or do. He glanced at Lily then at his stomach.  
  
"I felt dizzy and nauseous this morning so I went to see the doctor. James thought that I'm pregnant but then the doctor told me that there're problems in my ovaries ... that I can't bear a child." Sirius stared at her as she continued. "Now, what should I do? If James finds out, he will ..."  
  
"He will never find out."  
  
"What? But how?" she looked at him wearily.  
  
"I'll give you my baby."  
  
She couldn't say anything so he continued. "I felt nauseous and a bit weak this morning so I went to the doctor and he said ... I'm pregnant."  
  
She gasped and closed her mouth with her hand. "It's James', I'm sorry but it happened on the eve of your wedding. Don't ask me the details."  
  
"I don't think I want to know." She muttered. "What do you mean you'll give me your-"  
  
"First," he cut her off, "I thought I'd take care of this child and let no one knew about it but ... I figure you need him."  
  
"Sirius, are you sure?" she sniffled.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure. Even though I don't think James will leave you if he knows you can't give him a child." He smiled.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
"That's why you asked me to make him Harry's godfather."  
  
Lily nodded. "I pretended to be pregnant and he used the concealment charm on himself. Then when he knew he was going to give birth he called me. We asked for Dumbledore's help with the hospital's arrangements. Anyway the doctors aren't allowed to tell their patients' cases to outsiders."  
  
"I'm not an outsider!!" James stood up. His eyes blazed with rage yet she could see exhaustion in them.  
  
"That was his request. He made me and Dumbledore promised him about this before he went into the labor." Her voice didn't sound even a bit of fear. She turned to face Harry.  
  
"Everyone said that you looked exactly like James, which is very true, and your eyes looked like mine. In that part, they're wrong."  
  
"But Sirius' eyes are blue ..." Harry said, remembering his godfather's ... mother's (?) soothing eyes whenever he laid his eyes upon him.  
  
"Yes, they are but of course you don't know that his mother's eyes are green, do you? Yes, you got that eye-colour from your grandmother whether you like it or not. That's what he told me when he saw you after the labor." She smiled sweetly at him.  
  
"So ... he's my mom ..." Harry took Sirius' hand and kissed it.  
  
"Who else have known about it?"  
  
"Dumbledore, the Longbottoms, the doctors, Remus ... and Snape, but no one told him. He figured that out himself."  
  
"So I'm the one who's left in the shadow." He looked hurt. How could he not know that? How could he not realize that?  
  
"I'm sorry, James."  
  
"You should've told me earlier." James asked, not leaving his eyes from Sirius.  
  
"I know, but there were many things happened. Now once they're settled I hope you can settle this one too. I won't be in your way this time. I shouldn't have been so selfish to hold you by my side when I knew that your love was not for me."  
  
James walked at her and embraced her tightly. She knew the meaning of that, he also knew that that hug had told her everything. They're friends, they're only friends and they shouldn't have lied to themselves long time ago to make other people suffered, to make the people they really loved suffered.  
  
"I'm sorry, James."  
  
"You don't have to be."  
  
Lily let herself go from James' arms and looked at Harry. She smiled. "I don't know what you will think of me after this but-"  
  
"Do you mind if I keep calling you 'Mom'?" Harry approached her with tears in his eyes.  
  
Lily bit her lower lip to stop the tears from coming and hugged Harry. "I don't mind, really, I don't. Thank you for letting me become your mom, thank you."  
  
They stayed in each others arms for a while before they released each other in surprised. Lily stole a glance at James and she believed he too had heard that. A soft sigh, yet still a voice, coming from Sirius' mouth.  
  
His eyes fluttered open, dazzled by the sun's ray that shone through the window but he managed to open his eyes fully. He looked at the three people who found themselves couldn't make any voice came out of their throats, and slowly opened his mouth. His voice only came out croaky, "Where ... am I?"  
  
"Oh God ... Sirius ..." Lily gasped in surprise. "I'll call Madam Pomfrey!" she dashed out of Sirius' room.  
  
Sirius tried to get up to sit but he found that he's too weak to do that so he reached out his hand to touch Harry's face. "Why are you crying?"  
  
"Because I'm so happy that you're awake now, Sirius." He couldn't hold himself much longer that he flung his arms around Sirius and pulled him in a tight embrace. "I miss you." He whispered.  
  
"I miss you too, Harry. I thought I was dead."  
  
"Thank Merlin, you're not." He let go of Sirius as he found out he's a bit hard to breathe. He took a glass of water from the nightstand beside Sirius' bed and slowly helped him to drink it. "Sorry. I'll go tell Dumbledore and the others." He put the glass back and ran out after winking at his father.  
  
Sirius had laid back and closed his eyes when James returned to his seat beside his bed. Knowing someone's presence, he opened his eyes once more and eyed James strangely. Somehow, James had a very bad feeling. His look ... that was unusual.  
  
Sirius narrowed his eyes at him and asked, "Who are you?"  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : This one is even shorter than before! Ah, I'm sorry! But the  
point of this chapter is Harry's real, um, mom. What do you think  
Harry should call Sirius from now? Mom? Dad? Or just 'Sirius'? I know  
it's a bit weird but I want to make them a family, a real one! I'll  
tell you why they got married in the later chapters, I don't know  
which one but I'll tell you. There are going to be a lot of flashbacks  
and I hope you'll like them. I'm sorry I'm asking too much. Okay,  
enough with my rambling. I love feedback so please do! 


	3. Fragile Heart

Disclaimer : As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me. Summary : See the previous chapter.  
  
Forgotten Time  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Ch. Three : Fragile Heart  
  
James was stunned. He only managed to stutter, "Wh ... What?"  
  
"Who are you? I have never seen you around. Are you Harry's friend? Or Lily's?"  
  
"You ... don't recognize me? You're joking, right, Padfoot?" he asked, trying as best as he could to remain steady on his seat.  
  
"Padfoot? You know my nickname? ... Do I know you?"  
  
James couldn't say anything. Instead he stood up on his feet and stalked out of the room, irate and confused. The only thing person that he thought of now was Snape and he had better had a good explanation for that.  
  
Snape was in his classroom with Remus when James barged in. "You!" his eyes blazed with rage as he pointed his wand at him, "What did you do to him?! What did you put in that potion?!"  
  
"I don't know what you mean, Potter." Snape replied in a very calm voice. James hated his smirk and was ready to hex him when he felt Remus' hand on his arm.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He didn't recognize me."  
  
"What?!" Remus couldn't hide his shock. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Remus, he looked at me as if I was a stranger and asked me who I was! Isn't that clear enough for you that he didn't recognize me a bit?! He thought I was Harry's or Lily's friend!!" James slowly lowered his wand and looked at Remus in the eye. He knew he wasn't lying.  
  
"Amnesia? But he remembered Harry and Lily ... does the potion have any post-effects, Sev?"  
  
Snape stared at Remus and shook his head. They were sighing in relief when he said. "But it does have a side-effect. That potion ... the simple Resuscitation Potion can't wake him up so we, Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore, and I, decided to mix it with something. No one has ever done it before but we had to do something. And I just found out what the side–effect is."  
  
"Then what is it?!"  
  
James' hand was held by Remus so he didn't walk over to Snape and hit him. Never mess with James Potter when he's mad, especially when it had something that involved his lover, or ex-lover, Sirius Black. James could be very possessive when he wanted to and Remus knew that very well.  
  
"You still don't have any patience, do you, Potter?"  
  
"Unfortunately for you, Snape, patience has never been one of my virtues."  
  
Snape was about to retort him when he saw Remus looked at him pleadingly. He gave in.  
  
"It seems that when his mind's mixed up and in combination with his power, the potion can help him to forget something, anything that has been bothering his mind, whatever it is. So, I can assume, Potter, that the thing that bothers him so much is you." He sneered. James really wanted to land his fist on that smug face but he didn't. He closed his eyes and let the tears he was holding rolled down on his face.  
  
"Why did he want to forget James? I mean, he loves James, so why did he-?"  
  
"My dear Remus, don't you recall why he married Lily? Stupid reason, that was. And did you see Black's, obviously, tear-streaked face after they went for their honeymoon? Did you remember that you had to restrain him from killing himself?"  
  
"What?!" James snapped his eyes open and stared at him wide-eyed. Remus reluctantly gave him a nod and tried to say something but Snape cut him off.  
  
"And when he decided to give his baby, Harry, to Lily? If I were him, I'd want to get you out of my mind too, which luckily, I'm not." Snape stopped and studied James' reaction. He didn't do anything which got Remus into his nerves. Remus took James' hand and walked out of the dungeon, leaving Snape behind.  
  
James let Remus dragged him to the Hospital Wings, straight to Sirius' room where seemed so full. When Sirius saw Remus, he cheerfully called, "Remus!"  
  
Remus stopped, making James almost colliding to him. "You ...know me?"  
  
Sirius stared at him as if he's a creature from other planet and soon his usual smile came back on his face. "Of course I remember you, Rem! Just because I had been in the veil, doesn't mean I'd have any problem with my memory! How's that greasy bastard?"  
  
"His name is Severus Snape, Padfoot." Remus had finally collected himself and walked towards the bed, completely forgot about James.  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"You look in a very good mood today." Ron said, startled. He had never seen Sirius like that. The first time he saw him was after he escaped from Azkaban and his appearance was ... well, you know. And then there were so many problems that the only Sirius he'd ever seen was a distressed one, not the cheery and full of energy like that. He's not the only person who thought that though. Harry and Hermione had a very same thought as him.  
  
"Why shouldn't I? I'm alive, wide awake, free, with my friends, the things that I thought were impossible ... the best time in my life, I suppose."  
  
James walked over to the bed and looked at him intensely. Sirius noticed that but when he tried to open his mouth to speak, his head started to spin again and he almost hit the headboard if it's not for James' hand steadying him.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
Harry watched his parents, yes his real parents, and decided that something was wrong. His instinct might be not as good as Remus' but he had leant to trust it since his encounter with Professor Quirell in his first year. And his instinct had saved him most of the times. He stole a glance at Remus who looked like he noticed the same thing.  
  
"Um ... did I say something wrong before, I mean ... you stormed off and ... Anyway, do I know you?"  
  
Everyone in the room gasped. James was still standing on his feet, which they found very surprising. Tonks was about to say something but then she closed her mouth and looked questioningly at her mom, Andromeda. Andromeda herself was lost in her thoughts too. She had come all the way to Hogwarts when she heard about Sirius and had been helping the Order to look after him. Of course she knew about the potion too but she didn't know any side-effect that it could cause.  
  
Sirius stared at the others and frowned. James cracked a smile at him and answered, "Yes, you know me. And you're supposed to recognize me too, Siri, though I don't think you want to."  
  
Sirius looked at him, very confused. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Sirius, he's James. Don't you remember?"  
  
"James? I don't-"  
  
"James Potter." James cut him off, gave him another smile and continued, "I'm Harry's dad, Lily's ex-husband, an animagi, and ... your best friend."  
  
Sirius' mouth gaped. After a while he shook his hand and said, "So I do have a memory problem. I'm sorry but I can't remember anything about you."  
  
"Can't blame you." He sat on the bed. The others took that chance to silently slip out of the room, each with their own thoughts. They had noticed that James didn't tell Sirius that they were lovers.  
  
James took Sirius' chin and looked deep into his eyes. He could never forget the first time he laid his eyes on Sirius' on that train over twenty years ago. He could never forget how he cringed when he saw the dread in those eyes yet they still shone brightly with life at the same time. The most beautiful eyes he had ever seen in his life, until now.  
  
"You'll remember eventually and if you do, I think you'll hate me after everything I've done to you." He tried not to let his eyes averted due to guilt from Sirius'.  
  
"I don't understand. Why can I remember everything except you? I mean, I remember everything ... you're my best friend, you said? So why can't I-?"  
  
"You wanted to forget me and the potion they gave you helped you did that. You see, now you forget everything about me."  
  
"But ... maybe not everything." Sirius put his hand on James' and said, "I didn't recall you when I woke up earlier and after that ... I think I've known you for so long but ... my mind seems to blur ... I can see your face somewhere ... in my memories but the images, they're still ... blur, not to mention mixed up."  
  
"I can understand that."  
  
"I bet you're the one who told me that 'Bad memories shouldn't be forgotten. You have to get over them instead of forgetting them.' Am I right?"  
  
James' eyes sparkled with hope and love. "You remember that."  
  
"Yes. And I'll try to remember the rest. Um ... James?"  
  
James nearly jumped at the sound of his name. Not that he's surprised, but when he recalled how long he didn't hear Sirius calling him .... That's one of the things that he missed so much. The way Sirius called him, in any occasion, always succeeded to turn him on, but that was not the perfect time to succumb to his desire. He shook his head to get his mind out of it and faced Sirius.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Can you help me ... to remember?"  
  
"Of course. You don't need to ask me. That's what friends are for." James smiled, adding to himself that he'd do anything to help his lover get his memories back, and hugged him. Sirius' body stiffened at first but then he felt that he somehow knew the feeling and had been missing it for long time. He encircled his arms around James and returned the hug. They stayed in that position before James let him go.  
  
"Now it's time for you to rest. I think Poppy will come at any time to yell at me for making you stay up." He chuckled. Sirius shook his head.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"You need a rest, Siri, and I want to make sure you get what you need. Everything."  
  
James left the infirmary after making Sirius promised to sleep. Though actually he's not in the mood to sleep.  
  
"He said I'd remember it eventually. The Marauders ... I recalled Moony and ... Wormtail."  
  
He shut his eyes tightly as he mentioned that name. Yes, he remembered that Pettigrew was the cause he was sent to Azkaban, as a murderer. They said he had betrayed the Potters. Now that he recalled that name ... James and Lily Potter ... he clutched his chest. It felt hurt, though he didn't remember all of it or his friendship with James, like the other man had said, his body seemed to remember exactly what happened. Somewhere inside of his mind had refused to forget ... a part of him.  
  
"James Potter. Why? Why does it hurt me so much just to think about it? Why did I want to forget about him?"  
  
His mind wouldn't stop thinking as he fell into deep slumber. Past memories came flowing into his mind ... one by one ...  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : This is the third one. I enjoy writing this so I hope you  
enjoy reading this. Maybe it's getting more and more confusing. Sorry.  
R&R please! I'll be very glad to read them so please send me the  
reviews. 


	4. More Than Words

Disclaimer : As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me. Summary : See the previous chapter.  
  
Forgotten Time  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Ch. Four : More than Words  
  
Flashback  
  
He felt himself being slammed against the concrete wall in his room. So many times he had spent in the house of Black and he had learnt that brutality was just something that couldn't be avoided, especially when it came from his father. He rarely hit him but when he actually did, he'd always make sure that Sirius would be left with at least a rib broken. Sometimes Sirius thought that his father was sick, but then he realized not only his father but all of his family was sick, mentally. He had to go before he joined them.  
  
"You good for nothing git!! How dare you! I should've killed you by the time you're born!! You dishonor the family's name! A Gryffindor!" he made a disgusted face at his now kneeling son, holding onto his stomach where his father had kicked him. "And even much worse!"  
  
"Tell me!" he pulled Sirius' hair so that he looked at him. "Do you think there's another thing that's more unforgivable than being that Potter's slut?!"  
  
Sirius felt his blood dripping from his chin as he retorted, "Being your son!"  
  
His father took a step back before he, once again, landed his fist on Sirius' face.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
Flashback  
  
He could feel the winter breeze as he opened the window in their dorm. Moony and Wormtail were in the living room, doing their Transfiguration essay. The sixteen-year-old Sirius was wrapped in his lover's arms. The feeling of lips brushing his ear as he heard someone whispered, "I love you."  
  
End of Flashback  
  
Sirius woke up and found himself in his bed, in the Hospital Wings. Not in the dorm and not in his sixteen, not being beaten up by his father. But it felt so real. His father's blow on his body, the yelling, ... the whisper, the warm body against his, ... the voice ... he knew that voice. It was extremely familiar but he couldn't put it in place. So he gave up and struggled back to bed.  
  
Days passed, months followed and the quidditch season was going to take place at the end of that month. Sirius had spent most of his time with James in order to get his memories back but to no avail. It seemed that the potion's effect was greater than they'd thought. Or was that Sirius' will to forget James that's buried deep inside his heart that refused to make him recall anything? No one knew. Not even Sirius.  
  
They got their own rooms in the castle, Dumbledore had mentioned that he wanted to know all of his progress, so they're free to walk around the castle. Sirius seemed to get better and better and he could point out the things they used to do together, the Marauders, but not the things that he used to do alone with James.  
  
Sometimes when he sat alone in his bed or when he was sleeping, he could feel those memories flashing in front of his eyes, for example his father's words when he hit him that night. Then he would feel he was scared. He didn't tell James but every time they walked together or when James told him about their past, except that they were dating, Sirius trembled. He had cold sweat and he felt terrified. Much more than he felt when his father beat him, berated him. He felt that those things, those memories James had told him, would lead them to something. Something that he couldn't describe.  
  
The thing was he didn't know what he was scared of. Not James but it might be the memory itself. Why did he want to forget someone as kind as James? James was so kind, patient, ... Whenever Sirius was doing anything, he could feel that James was watching his every move. And though he knew, he had never minded that. He enjoyed being watched by James and soon he figured that he had special feeling for the bespectacled man, still not knowing what kind of feeling that was. Strangely, he felt that that was not the first time he had that kind of feeling towards James and those blur images started haunting him more often.  
  
That day James decided to take Sirius to their secret hideout, trying to find out if he remembered anything there. It was a hidden room near Moaning Myrtle's toilet, behind an old portrait of the crying wizard.  
  
"I remember this place." He stated as he stepped his into the room.  
  
"You do?"  
  
He nodded and placed his hand on the dusty desk. "Yes, I do remember this place. We used to come here with Moony and ... Wormtail to plan some pranks that we're going to pull on the students, well, Slytherin most of it." he grinned.  
  
"Yeah, but there were other things that we did here."  
  
"Such as?" he raised his eyebrow at James last statement. Somehow he felt his face heated and a blush spread across his face.  
  
"Are you blushing, Siri?" he laughed.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are so."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are so."  
  
"Am- oh shut up, James." He stalked across the room. Unfortunately he hit the cabinet and sent it falling towards him. James reacted fast enough to prevent the collision between Sirius and the cabinet and soon he found himself on top of him.  
  
Panting, he asked, "Are you all right?"  
  
Sirius looked up and was about to reply when he realized how close his face to James'. He blushed even more and nothing James could think about but to kiss him right and then. In that very compromising position, it's hard to think normally. Anyway, who could think normally if he had the person he loved pinned against him with those lips slightly parted.  
  
To add to James' frustration, Sirius licked his lips and shifted his head to look away, exposing his neck to James. He had to bite his lip to hold himself for sucking the exposed skin beneath him. He could feel himself hardening, so he rolled over him and tried to calm himself.  
  
Sirius got up with the exact same feeling as James', only he felt worse. That triggered something inside him that he felt he needed the most. He's not lusting over his friend, was he? But what if it's more than just lust? What if ... what if the feeling was ...?  
  
His trail of thought was cut off by the hand held in front of him. He looked up to see James, his face still flushed, smiled. "Come on. We'll go somewhere else."  
  
Sirius took his hand and shook his head. "No, I want to talk about something with Remus. You go. I'll catch up with you later."  
  
James silently nodded.  
  
"Remus, I think I'm in love with James."  
  
He rushed to the library right after James took him out of the room, nearly bumping into McGonagall who glared at him. He knew he could find Remus there and there he was, reading a book, totally oblivious to the things that happened outside.  
  
Remus lifted his head from the Charm and Potion book he's reading and raised an eyebrow, thinking. 'Wow, I'm having a de ja vu.'  
  
"What makes you think that?" Remus put down his book and crossed his hands on the table.  
  
"You see, we were ..." Sirius started explaining to him the event that happened earlier while Remus heard every word he said in utter solemnity.  
  
"So that's what makes you think that you're in love with James, although you have just-"  
  
"Met him, I know. But there are more, Remus. There are more than that that I can't explain. Remus, every time he comes near me, I can feel my heart beat's speeding. I want him to never leave me. I want to be with him. Do you think I'm wrong?"  
  
Remus smiled and shook his head. "It's bound to happen anyway."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I shouldn't be the one to tell you. Ask James. Oh, yeah, Padfoot. What have you remembered about him this far?"  
  
Sirius looked at him seriously. "Only the thing he used to say to me ... some ... and that he really was the part of the Marauders. Sometimes I have images in my head, blurry images. They're still mixed up so I can't tell which one is earlier."  
  
"At least you tried. That's some kind of progress, you know."  
  
"Yeah. I still can't figure out why I wanted to forget him. I mean, he's so good to me and the others told me that we were inseparable. We're best friend! Why would I want to forget him?"  
  
"He made a very big mistake, Sirius. And that's what you wanted to forget. But you'll remember it eventually."  
  
"That's what he said too. What kind of mistake?"  
  
Remus shrugged. That gesture showed Sirius that he didn't want to interfere with their private problem so Sirius only smiled and said, "Oh well, I guess I'll go catch up with him."  
  
"You do that."  
  
"Bye, Moony."  
  
Sirius smiled at him and walked out of the library as fast as he came in earlier. Remus shook his head and took his attention back at the Charm and Potion book he was reading before. The Memory Section.  
  
Hermione joined Ron, Harry, James and Snape, in their talk with Remus. James was able to persuade Sirius to stay in his room so that he could join in the meeting, though knowing his (ex) lover, he'd be out of the room in no time.  
  
It seemed that the werewolf had found something that could help Sirius to regain his memory with James. Harry tapped his foot impatiently as Remus tried to explain his discovery. Remus shot him an annoyed look and he stopped.  
  
"Okay. So like I've said before, I have checked everything in the library and found this." He put the book on the table so that everyone could see.  
  
"The effects of extended brewed potions and additional ingredients ... what's this?! It had happened in Canada over a century ago!"  
  
"Yes, but not the exact same thing that happens to Siri. He drank that potion on purpose."  
  
"Then what happened?" James asked curiously.  
  
"I don't think you want to know but ... read the bottom line."  
  
James trailed the text and read the bottom line. The letters were flared red. "He committed suicide."  
  
"Yes. After he got his memories back, it seemed that it became unbearable so when his wife didn't notice, he cut his wrist with a knife."  
  
"But why-"  
  
"Not much different from what you did, Potter." Snape interjected. "His wife betrayed him and his son died in front of his eyes. The different was that he was born in a ... just call it a decent family, unlike Black."  
  
"Yes, you see, James ... this man was very rich and had a very happy family before the tragedy happened. He couldn't accept it. He's not that strong. Sirius is different. He won't commit suicide."  
  
"I know." But somewhere in his heart, he wasn't sure about that. He always shuddered whenever he remembered the time his blue-eyed lover talked about suicide. "Then we can't tell him the truth ... is that what you mean?"  
  
Remus shook his head. "Unfortunately, we also can't hide this from him. There's another case about this ... potion and the victim ... she turned mad. Her memories were mixed up. She couldn't tell which event happened earlier from the other and soon she was sent to a mental institution. She died a year after that."  
  
"So you're saying he has to choose between committing suicide and going mad?!" James' tone had become rougher and he glared deadly daggers at Snape. He's the one who put him on the horns of dilemma. "Why did you give him that bloody potion?!"  
  
"We have thought about this, Potter. I had a bad feeling about that potion too but Professor Dumbledore said that we had to give him that potion, for your sake too."  
  
"My sake?! What do you mean my sake?!"  
  
James' voice was rising and Harry didn't like the tension that's starting to form between him and Snape. Fortunately, James realized it too and promptly settling himself down.  
  
"So ... what do you suggest?" he asked Remus wearily.  
  
"We have to make him remember slowly, one by one."  
  
"I've tried it. Nothing works!"  
  
"There are some memories that involving you but you don't know about it, James, and Harry's birth was only one of those things."  
  
That definitely stopped James' arguments. Remus sighed and went on, "There are even some that only him who knows about."  
  
Remus didn't want to mention how distressed Sirius looked when he saw him before Sirius knew he was having Harry. Knowing his family, yet Remus had never seen Sirius so lost before. He knew he would've done the same thing if he had been him.  
  
"But how? We don't know where his things are. And there is no guarantee that anything we find will help him."  
  
"That's why, Ron, we have to try." Harry said unwaveringly. "Do you have something in your mind about this, Dad? I mean ... do you have any idea where Sirius has put his things?"  
  
James shook his head. "I couldn't find anything in ... his house." Harry noticed his father's slight pause before saying Sirius' house but he decided to let it slip for now. "Probably the Ministry had done something-"  
  
"The Ministry couldn't find anything as well, Potter. Maybe Black has destroyed all the things you gave him. Or threw them somewhere in a pile of junk, as what they are." Snape cut him off sarcastically.  
  
Remus knew that it'd take him forever to make Snape wanted to befriend with James and Sirius or vice versa but at least he didn't want them to have a fight with him in the middle of it. So he stood between Snape and a furious-looking James and held his hand in front of his face.  
  
"That's enough! We are here to help Sirius, not to make a stir among ourselves! Sit down, James! You too, Severus!"  
  
Both men clamped their mouths shut and sat back in their respective seats. Remus' voice was once again heard, sounded exhausted, not to mention exasperated. It seemed that this discussion had cost him much energy. Or perhaps we could say James and Snape had.  
  
"Now ... do you know any places that you think he'd put his things at?"  
  
James was about to say 'no' when he heard a voice, been spoken groggily, from the direction of the door. There stood Sirius' one and only brother, Regulus Black.  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : The fourth chappie! Oh, I'm so excited! I have made this  
story's theme before with different characters, but I think it also  
suits this one. Don't you agree with me? Oh, well. I'll be very glad  
if you review this one. I hope I can make a longer chapter next time. 


	5. Close

Disclaimer : As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me. Summary : See the previous chapter.  
  
Forgotten Time  
By Misaki Sakura  
  
Ch. Five : Close  
  
"My place." He said.  
  
James didn't know what to say. Among all of Sirius' family, Regulus Black was one of the worst. He always faked to be wearing a mask of hypocrisy in front of his parents and blamed Sirius for every mistake that he did. At least that's what Sirius had told him. They always enjoyed pulling pranks on him when they were in Hogwarts though. Sort of paybacks. And now he's telling them that his brother's things were in his place? That's just something that couldn't be believed.  
  
"Yours?" Remus studied him from head to toe. "Why would Sirius' things be in your place? Oh, but first, tell us, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, Narcissa told me what had happened to Sirius and-"  
  
"Wait!" James butted in. "How'd she know?"  
  
"Potter, they are in the Order. Is that any problem for them to know about this?" Snape sneered at him ... again.  
  
"I told them." Draco managed to squeak out. Seeing James' glare planted on him, he quickly hid behind Harry. It's not that hard though, knowing he was shorter than his boyfriend.  
  
"Take a seat, Regulus." Remus gestured him to the empty seats. Regulus chose the one in front of James. His only resolve was for them to believe him so that he could do something for Sirius. And he knew that'd be the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, knowing what a bastard he had been.  
  
"Continue." Remus folded his hands across his chest as if trying to figure out whether he was saying the truth.  
  
"Yes, um ... and I come to help."  
  
"Help?! You, of all people, come to help Sirius?! You're the last person I can think of helping him!" James plopped himself down on the couch and shook his head. Remus patted him on the shoulder and sat down next to him.  
  
"Listen, I don't know what you're scheming but you'd better be telling the truth or we'll make sure you'll get what you deserved."  
  
Regulus gulped and shifted groggily in his seat but nodded. "I know what you have been thinking ... of me but I'm telling the truth. I'm more than willing to help. That's the least I can do." He fiddled with the hem of his robe while Remus was deep in his thought, never letting his eyes away from Regulus.  
  
"Fine then." Ignoring James' protest, he looked back at Regulus and asked, "So, once again I ask you, why would Sirius' things be in your place?"  
  
"I pick them up not long after he was arrested. I figure I have to keep them for ... Harry."  
  
"And why Harry?"  
  
He sighed. "I know the truth. Not that he told me though but I know that Harry's my nephew, his son."  
  
Everyone in the room gasped and stole glances at one another. No one could know precisely if Harry had known about that but Harry nodded, despite of the unsure looks he got from his friends and boyfriend.  
  
"How did you know about Harry? I mean I didn't recall he had ever mentioned about seeing you." Remus asked hesitantly. Inside, he knew why Sirius hadn't told him anything about Regulus. Didn't he think that Remus was the spy? He wouldn't want to tell him that so that he could kill his brother, would he?  
  
"You must have known by now that I faked my death but accidentally he found me being beaten up in an alleyway near Knocturne Alley. He took pity on me and brought me to his house for a rest, not speaking of anything on the way. But then I figured that pregnancy since it's very hard to hide in the last months. The last time I visited him, he told me he had given him to the Potters."  
  
"And that's the last time you saw him?"  
  
"Not really, the night he died," he gestured towards James, "he came to my house, spatting on me for not telling him who Peter was. I told him I didn't know and he stormed off without saying anything else. The next thing I knew, he was sent to Azkaban."  
  
Regulus shifted in his seat once more. This interrogation ... he didn't like it, but he knew he had deserved that. So many nights he couldn't sleep, thinking about his brother and knew if only he had had the guts to tell the Ministry that Sirius wasn't the murderer ... but he had no choice. He could've been killed. That's why this time he'd help Sirius to get his memories back and hoped he could be forgiven.  
  
"And do you find something in his things that can help him to remember James?"  
  
He nodded his head vigorously. "Of course! I wouldn't be here if I didn't find anything." He rummaged in his pocket. "I found this hidden underneath his clothes in his trunk."  
  
James peered at it and immediately recognized the thing that was held in front of them. It was a necklace with a ring as its pendulum. The ring was covered with star patterns forming a dog, Sirius.  
  
"He kept this as something very precious to him. Even when Dad tried to ripped it off of him that night he ran away ..." Regulus didn't want to mention that he watched his father beat Sirius up from behind the door in fear.  
  
"That's my present for the Christmas that year ..." James said bitterly. He remembered how Sirius had promised he would take care of it very carefully as if it's his life. James also remembered he only chuckled at that. Never occurred in his mind that Sirius was serious with his words and would protect it so badly.  
  
"And this." He pulled out something out of his bag. They quickly recognized it as a Pensieve.  
  
"A Pensieve? Sirius has a Pensieve?" James looked doubt.  
  
"Yes. He told me that he had put all of his worst memories here to enlighten the burden in his mind. I bet this can be very useful for you." Regulus put it on the table.  
  
Harry peered curiously at it and stole a glance at his father. This would help Sirius of course. And this might be the answer to all the question about why would Sirius want to forget this and all, the answer his past as well. There're some things that had been bothering him since he heard about his ... Lily's meeting with Sirius, who was his real mother ... or father, you can say.  
  
Obviously, James had the same inclination as he did. "I'll go in."  
  
"Are you sure, James?" Remus said, frowning slightly.  
  
"Yes, Remus. Why?"  
  
"I just think that there're probably things that you wouldn't want to see. I don't want to make you feel much worse than this."  
  
By the way Remus saying that was enough for James to know that he's going to regret what he had done to Sirius greatly. He already had though so he didn't think it would make any difference. He shook his head and looked at Remus with determination in his eyes.  
  
"I'll go."  
  
"Me too." Harry said.  
  
"Harry ..."  
  
"Please. I need to make sure of some things ... about my birth. Please, Dad."  
  
James didn't have any energy to argue with his son, as much as he knew Harry could be so stubborn when he wanted to and this was one of the times James figured that out. He nodded.  
  
"Fine. But stick together with me."  
  
Harry was about to protest since he thought his father treated him like an infant but he didn't do anything except nodding.  
  
Soon they plunged themselves inside the Pensieve.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"I don't know." James took his wand out of his pocket and muttering, "Lumos."  
  
In the dim light they could only see that they were in a room. A bed was placed near the window. Beside it was a nightstand with a letter on it. James could recognize his handwriting on it, one of the letters he sent Sirius over holidays. They're in Sirius' room.  
  
"There're voices downstairs." Harry pointed out.  
  
"We'll go check on them."  
  
As they strode slowly downstairs, they could see Sirius sat at the dining table with a scowl on his face. In front of him was his father with the outrageous expression on his face. He stared menacingly at his son, while Regulus scurried away as soon as he could.  
  
"Is that true, Sirius? Is that?!" they could hear Mrs. Black sobbing as she talked to his son, sounded a bit hysterical to Harry's ears.  
  
"Yes, mother. That's true." He replied bravely.  
  
Mr. Black slammed his fist on the table, trying to control himself as he faced his son. "Are you saying that not only you've done enough humiliation to your family by being a Gryffindor, you're also let yourself fucked by that Potter?!"  
  
Harry flinched at his words. Those were very harsh. Mr. Black had no thought and obviously didn't give a damn shit about love. He saw Sirius' face reddened with fury.  
  
Sirius got up abruptly, sending his chair to fall soundly on the floor, and ran upstairs passing them into his room and slammed the door behind him. His father followed him.  
  
He was packing his things, stuffing them all into his trunk when his father burst into the room. "Answer me!!"  
  
The sixteen-year-old boy yanked his trunk close and stared at his father. "I don't think you need the answer."  
  
James and Harry could only watch as Mr. Black slapped his son and started beating him up, berating him with every blow he gave him.  
  
"You good for nothing git!! How dare you! I should've killed you by the time you're born!! You dishonor the family's name! A Gryffindor! And even much worse!"  
  
"Tell me! Do you think there's another thing that's more unforgivable than being that Potter's slut?!"  
  
Sirius retorted with anger flared in his eyes, "Being your son!"  
  
That only made him beat him even worse. They knew they couldn't do anything to stop him. How James want to kill the man that instance. No one could beat his son like that, especially not when his son was as good as Sirius.  
  
"So, this is the lash he gives you?!" he said mockingly. Sirius could feel his father tugged his necklace hard. More anger filled him and he felt tight in the pit of his stomach. No one could take that necklace from him or even try to. Fortunately he cast a spell on it so it didn't snap, knowing something like this was bound to happen.  
  
"You have no right to touch it!!" he pulled his wand out and yelled, "Impedimenta!!"  
  
His father was slammed to the wall and slumped unconsciously. Sirius seized that moment to grab his trunk and dragged it outside, ignoring his mother's calls and yells. The only thing that kept spinning in his head was to get out of that house as fast as he could.  
  
James and Harry followed him as he trotted long the sidewalks, dragging his trunk behind him. He had forgotten his broom on his way out, but going back would be a suicide. Harry took a look at Sirius' face from his side and saw tears trailing down his chin, mixing with the blood dripping from the bruises on his face. He had never known Sirius' father could be that bad, and he's supposed to be his grandfather too. He couldn't imagine what he would say if he knew his son had given birth to him.  
  
"Sirius!"  
  
Sirius turned his head slightly and growled at the person who appeared in front of him. Regulus. What does that git want now, he thought as he put his hand into his pocket, ready to pull out his wand when it needed.  
  
"What do you want?!" he said in a very icy tone. His eyes flared in anger, making Regulus took a step back.  
  
"What are you doing, Sirius? You can't run away from home."  
  
"Who says I can't? You?!" he laughed mockingly. "I'm sick of all this, so don't even bother talking to me right now. Just go home and tell Mom, I'm gone forever!" he turned his heel to leave Regulus when Regulus called him again.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Take this with you." Regulus handed him something which he recognized as his broom. "You left it at home and Mom told me to give this to you."  
  
It took Sirius a few moments before he slowly stretched out his hand and took the broom from his brother's hand. He couldn't help but to check it first, suspicious of the younger boy's intention. Regulus only smiled bitterly.  
  
Satisfied that he didn't notice any curse was put on the broom, he raised an eyebrow at Regulus who merely sighed. "I can't stay here for too long. Dad's probably going to awake any time soon. Sirius, I only want you to know ... I love you." He slung himself at Sirius.  
  
Startled, Sirius managed to keep his balance and held onto his brother. When he released him, Regulus said, "But don't tell anyone I do this."  
  
Sirius smiled tenderly, the smile he had never given to his family for a long time. "Yeah, you'll always be my annoying and conceited little brother. This'll be our secret."  
  
"You're going to go there? To Potter's house?"  
  
Sirius tried to control his dizziness and nodded his head. "Go now, Reg, before Dad finds out you're here."  
  
Regulus nodded and ran back to the direction he came. Sirius tightened his grip on his broom and made his way to the Potter's Manor on it.  
  
Harry wanted to follow him more but he felt James' hand on his arm, holding him when they jumped into another memory.  
  
TBC   
  
A/N : The fifth one!! I'm so happy! I don't know when this story's  
going to end, but I think not until two chapters more. I just need to  
find a perfect ending for this, since my two previous stories have ...  
kinda abrupt ending. Well, as usual, please review! 


	6. Fool Again

Disclaimer: As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me.

Summary: See the previous chapter.

**Forgotten Time**

**By Misaki Sakura**

**Ch. Six: Fool Again**

James took a look around and quickly recognized the place they landed in. It's the Gryffindor's Common Room. They saw the sixteen-year-old Marauders sat on the couch. James was reading "Quidditch Through The Ages" while Sirius was humming something, practically lying on James' lap, with his hair being played idly by James. Remus was revising his homework. Harry figured it was a History of Magic essay as he read the bold letters on the top of the parchment.

No one noticed that a certain Wormtail was eyeing Sirius' every movement, except the both men who're currently standing beside the couch. Harry suddenly felt the urge to walk at him and punch him in the face. He knew very well how gorgeous his god ..., erm, mother was, but he somehow didn't like the way Peter stared at him although it seemed that Sirius was completely oblivious about this. He's not the only one though.

"I'm going to the library." Remus said to no one in particular, closing his book and putting it in his bag as he walked out.

Sirius sat up and looked intently at James. "It's weird."

"What do you mean weird?" They could hear the teenage James' voice as he asked his lover, looking up from his book.

"What do you mean weird?! Didn't you notice?! He doesn't take any books with him so obviously he's not going to study there. Okay, I know that Remus is ... bookish but have you ever heard him being so cheerful for just going to a ... library?" Sirius shook his head lightly, making his silk hair falling absentmindedly before his eyes.

"So what do you say, Padfoot?" James, still in his composure, smiled slightly.

"Probably, he's meeting some girls." Blue eyes flashing with mischief.

"Or boys." James added, chuckling. Peter didn't do anything and just looked nothing particular, probably too busy daydreaming to even notice both boys were no longer on their previous positions. He didn't even give any acknowledgement when James and Sirius made their way out of the Common Room.

"Did you see that Peter's spacing out?" James asked, frowning.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." He sighed. "So do you have any idea what to do now?"

"I don't know. Go to the kitchen ... nah, I'm not in the mood for that. Playing quidditch ..."

"Siri, we can't play quidditch without Madam Hooch's permission. Anyway, it's snowing."

"I know. Um ... tailing Remus!"

"I think we're a bit late for that. Remus is nowhere to be seen now." James and his logic.

"I can turn into-"

"Padfoot, you can't. What if anybody sees?"

"Geez, fine. So what do we do? I don't want spend our time in the Common Room with Peter!"

"Maybe we can do a threesome."

"**James**!"

"Just kidding."

Sirius 'hmph'-ed and turned away, backing at James, who sighed and brought himself closer to Sirius. Tickling Sirius' ears, he whispered, "I know exactly what to do to cheer you up."

"And what is-?"

Before he could finish his sentence, James dragged him to the direction of the ...

"Astronomy Tower?" Harry said as he recognized the hallway that led to the certain place which was a spot for couples for ... doing things. It seemed that its function hadn't changed since his father's time.

James face brightened with amusement. "Harry, I don't think you're going to like what you're going to see. Just bear yourself."

"Wha-?"

Harry didn't have any chance to finish his sentence as he saw his fathers were kissing each other in front of the door. James pushed Sirius back against it and slowly turning the knob open while keeping his tongue inside Sirius' mouth. Sirius had his eyes closed, slowly pushing the door open with his leg ... when they heard something.

"Did you hear that?" James asked, looking around the room.

"Uh-huh."

There are curtains at the corner of the room and those noises were coming out from behind them. James pulled Sirius behind him, both boys kept their mouth shut. There are some other people in that room with them and their oblivious to their presence. However, Sirius knew he recognized that muffled voice ... moaning to be exact. Snivellus. He nearly laughed at the thought that someone would want Snivelli but when he heard the other voice, he gasped.

James knew that voice too but he was too stunned to restrain Sirius from jerking the curtains open. He shrieked.

"Remus!!"

Remus, who had his legs straddled and no shirt on with Snape on top of him, flushed and managed to croak out, "Sirius! James!"

This time, it's James who gained his self-control first and grabbed Sirius hand before dashing out of the room.

"That's gross, Dad." Harry closed his mouth, tried desperately not to laugh his lungs out at Sirius' expression.

"Well, he has to put it in the Pensieve. He was scarred for life! Sirius barely talked to Remus after that for almost two weeks. Later, Remus had to talk to him and sorted things out, but sometimes he still had a very weird expression when Snape's around."

"I'd do that too if I were him." He mumbled incoherently.

Then they felt the same sensation as they jumped into Sirius' other memory.

"What takes him so long?!"

Sirius paced around his room, hands in his robe's pocket. He had waited for two hours and James still hadn't returned into their room. Never known for his patience, Sirius yanked the door open and stalked out.

As he headed for the lake, his eyes caught the glimpse of the Forbidden Forest and let his legs took him there unnoticingly. He passed the trees and walked deeper into it, barely knowing where his legs led him. Until he saw a cave near a swamp. The pain, along with the flashes of images, struck him once more and he managed to drag himself into the cave before he collapsed.

James clenched both his fists at the side of his body. Harry had his mouth closed and tears started to well up in his eyes as he watched the scene in front of him.

"But ... why? What did I do wrong?!"

"You did nothing wrong. It's just that my love for you is not enough." James replied callously to his lover who stood in front of him, crying.

"What?!"

"You heard me." James started walked out of the room, he recognized as the living room in Godric's Hollow.

Sirius grabbed his head and stuttered. "You lied!"

"You want to know the truth?" James yanked his wrist out of his grasp, causing Sirius to stumble backwards. "Lily's pregnant." Then without second glance at him, James strode out, leaving a very pained-looking Sirius behind.

Sirius just sat there and did nothing. His tears covered his face as he started sobbing, curled up on the floor.

James kept silent, even when they went to another memory. They saw Sirius sat at a café with James sitting in front of him.

"Tell me, Dad." Harry broke the silence between them. "How could you be so callous to ask him to become your best man? Didn't you consider his feelings?"

"... I was blinded with anger and rage. All I want to do was to see him suffer ... because of my own selfishness ..."

"Wha-"

"I thought he was cheating on me with Remus and-"

"Dad! He'll never cheat on you!"

"I know. But at that time ..."

He didn't have to continue, Harry understood. When you're too welled up in anger, you can't think properly, however, Harry had the feeling that it wasn't the only reason. He didn't ask him though, knowing he would tell him if he wanted to. So they kept watching.

They saw some more memories like how James came to Sirius' house the night before his wedding, drunk, and sort of seducing him, if not raping him. James and Lily's wedding ... his lost look when they took off for their honey-moon. In most of them, Harry thought what a bastard his father had been towards Sirius and yet seeing Sirius' eyes, he was no doubt still deeply in love with James. Then it happened.

Sirius was in his house not far from the Godric's Hollow, where he used to live with James but had left after James decided to marry Lily, looking worn out. His eyes were red. He clamped his mouth with his hand and ran to the direction of the bathroom. There, Harry could see him throwing his dinner up.

"What happened ... to me?" Sirius' eyes widened slightly as the realization hit him. He took his robe and tried hard on his feet walking to the St. Mungo Hospital for riding his bike in that state could cause him fell off it.

"Wait a minute!" James said, "Lily and I hadn't returned from our honey moon. He said that he-"

"That's what I want to know, Dad. Sirius was a Specialist Medi-Wizard, a pediatrician they called in the Muggle World. Of course before he took specialization, such common knowledge as the symptoms of pregnancy was taught in the university. It'd be easy for him to tell that he was pregnant. I don't think it took so long for him to realize that."

"But why he didn't tell her the truth?"

Harry shrugged and they continued to follow him. Finally Sirius managed to set his feet in the St. Mungo Hospital. He made his way through the corridor and headed straight towards the ob-gyn section, to one of his colleague.

"So why are you here, Sirius?"

"I need to check for pregnancy."

The man was shocked but soon recovered and smiled at him. "Sure. But are you ready for the result, whatever it may be?"

"I'm ready."

"Fine." He asked Sirius to lay down and muttered a few spell. His eyes widened slightly. "May I ask why do you think you're pregnant?"

"Those symptoms like morning sickness, sore body, unstable emotion ...what's the result? Am I pregnant?"

"Yes, you are, Sirius. You are pregnant."

**TBC**

A/N: Okay! The sixth chapter! Sorry for the lateness in updating. I hope I can update soon. School can be a pain sometimes. R&R please!


	7. If I Let You Go

Disclaimer: As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me.

Summary: See the previous chapter.

**Forgotten Time**

**By Misaki Sakura**

**Ch. Seven : If I Let You Go**

Sirius opened his eyes slowly and blinked. Everything seemed so dark. Then he remembered the Forbidden Forest and the cave he found. He reached into his pocket to take his wand out and muttered, "Lumos."

The dimly lit cave was not deep. It's totally dry. What's more important was he knew he was there. It's funny, though. He's not stupid, they called him brilliant. One of the most brilliant and yet naughty students in Hogwarts and it's easy for him to tell what happened to him. Struggle. He's struggling whether to remember that part of memories or just bury them in the depth of his mind, never letting them out ever again. But could he when he only felt his love became stronger and stronger each day passed?

"It's not the time to think about it, Sirius." He murmured to himself. "Now what do I-"

He stopped when he saw something on the ground. At closer look, he recognized it as a mark. A concealment charm had been cast by someone but by the looks of it, it was he who did it. The only person who can see through a spell like that was the one who conjured it.

Sirius tapped the ground with his hand and muttered, "Revelo!" and gasped when his head started to hurt again at the sight of the wooden box on the ground in front of him.

"He lied to Lily."

Harry glanced at his father who frowned. Harry didn't know what to do. The reason why he had forced to go with his father was that. Now he thought he knew. He might not want Lily to see him in that state. Or he might be too proud to let them see how suffered he was. James and Harry looked at a very sick looking Sirius, who groaned in pain. Inside, Harry had this worry that Sirius might not want him. Or else, why would he put these memories of his pregnancy in the Pensieve? Only Sirius who knew the answer.

The room was dark but Harry knew that it's not the Godric's Hollow. Probably they're in Sirius' house. Sirius shifted in his bed then he got up and dashed to the bathroom, throwing up. Harry watched as he wiped his mouth and sat on the bathroom floor. After that he lifted himself slowly and headed towards his closet, searching for a nice outfit.

A knock was heard from outside. Sirius grunted and opened it to reveal Remus standing there with Snape.

"Padfoot, are you okay? You look … pale."

"I'm fi-" before he could finish his sentence, he paled and fainted. Thankfully, Snape was able to catch him before he hit the floor. Snape nudged Remus, who's too startled, and gestured towards the bed. They laid Sirius on his bed and sat beside it.

"What do you think happened, Severus?"

Snape stared at Remus for a while. "I think he's pregnant."

"What?!"

"I don't know. I just think that **maybe** he's pregnant. Not like I care anyway."

Remus looked at Sirius. His cold sweat dampened his raven coloured hair, which Remus knew he praised so much. He shook his head and walked to open the blinds. The room was too dark to his liking.

Sirius' eyes fluttered open and he got up, holding his head. "What … happened …?"

"You fainted." Snape replied curtly. Sirius frowned then realization hit him. "Oh."

"Are you sick, Sirius?" Remus asked in a tone full of concern.

"No. Well, not quite." He hesitated a bit. Was it okay to tell Remus? But then he knew if there's anyone he wanted to talk to about his condition, it would be Remus. So gathering up his courage he said, "Okay … I'm pregnant."

Remus almost tripped over a chair when he heard that. "How could …"

"I be pregnant?" Remus nodded. "It's not important."

"It is important, Sirius! More than you probably think, okay?! So why don't you just tell me who the other father is?!" Remus finally lost his patient. Taking surprises was never his best area.

"Who? I think you'd know it without asking."

"So … it's James' …"

"Yeah."

"When … ?" Remus didn't continue his sentence but Sirius understood what he wanted to ask.

"The night before the wedding …"

Silence filled the room. Each person was busy with his own thought until Sirius finally managed to get up. "I don't think I can go with you guys today. Just send my regards to James and Lily. They're definitely waiting for you." He smiled bitterly and led Snape and Remus out.

"You have to-"

Remus' words were cut short as Sirius shook his head violently. "Never say anything about this to James or Lily! I don't want any of them to know about this."

"But he has the right to know. Maybe you can raise him together and-"

"Oh, is that option possible, Remus?" he asked in mockery. "They can have any children they want but not my son! Promise me not to tell them anything, both of you!"

"Fine, we promise." Remus answered as he was dragged by Snape out of the door. After seeing them disapparated, Sirius closed the door behind him and slumped against it. Rubbing his stomach, he whispered, "My son …"

Next, they saw Sirius with Lily just like what she had told them. After Lily's departure, Sirius didn't move. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he sat, watching the children played.

"James … the things I do for you …"

He started to sob uncontrollably as Harry and James did nothing but watching him.

The next memory was the night when he was appointed as the Secret Keeper, the night when everything changed. Sirius was visiting the Potters. After being appointed Harry's godfather, he could go there easier than before. He still felt hurt every time he saw James and Lily but quickly getting over it. At least they're happy.

That time, Sirius was holding the little Harry close to him when he was left alone in the room with James.

"James …" he hesitated as James waited for him to continue.

"What is it, Siri?"

Sirius closed his eyes at the way James used to say his name. It felt so long … when's the last time James called him that way? Putting Harry in his crib, he turned around to face the man he loved.

"Why did you lie to me?

"About?"

"Lily's pregnancy."

"Oh that."

Sirius frowned. James slowly approached him and asked, "Why do you think I lied?"

"Just answer me!"

Sighing, he looked at Harry and said, "I thought you … were cheating on me with Remus."

James had said that in a very small voice but it sounded like thunder to Sirius' ears. "Cheating on you?! With Remus?!! Why- How could you think such thing?!" his voice shook.

"I don't know. Maybe because you spent more time with him than with me. Maybe because **you** would rather tell him your problems, anything, than telling me!" his voice rose. That made Harry who was sleeping, snapped open his eyes in shock and began to cry.

Lily ran into the room, lifted Harry and patted him on the back, soothing him in the softest and sweetest voice she could do. Seeing the faces of the former lovers, she could feel the tension was growing between them. It might be best to take Harry away before they started their argument again.

Inside, Sirius was torn. He wanted to cry, partly because of anger and partly because of the disappointment. James didn't trust him. And the fact that he jumped into that conclusion without confirming the truth with him.

"I spent more time with him because **you** didn't have enough time to just listen to me!"

"I couldn't because I had a lot of work to do!" his voice softened somehow, "And I'm sorry …"

"What I don't understand is that you'd be so stupid to think that I'd ever cheat on you, you git!"

James was taken aback by both Sirius' words and the anger in his eyes, mixed with the feelings of hurt and the tears that stung at the corner of his eyes.

"I never thought that you'd think of me that low, James." He whispered softly. "I can't be your Secret Keeper in this case."

"But why?"

"If you can't trust me, why do you even bother asking me to be one? I can't be the Secret Keeper. I may betray you." He spat the last to words at him.

Then, collecting his things, he waved goodbye to Lily and kissed Harry before flying away with his bike, leaving a startled James behind.

And that's the last memory in the Pensieve as Harry and James jumped out of it.

Harry wiped the tears that just rolled down his cheeks. He didn't have any clue that Sirius' condition was that bad. Now he knew why Remus was concerned, why Sirius wanted to forget everything and he knew he couldn't blame him.

"Harry!" Draco was the first to notice their arrival. "What happened to you?"

Harry shook his head. "No … it's nothing."

"I need to see Sirius." James walked past Remus who smiled faintly at him.

He looked at the crying Harry and asked, "So now do you have the answers you want?"

Not trusting his voice not to crack, he nodded. "That's good, Harry. Don't hate them, both Sirius and your dad."

James walked straightly to their shared room but he didn't see Sirius anywhere. He tried the Astronomy Tower, the quidditch pitch, all the places Sirius loved to be at and he was still nowhere to be seen. Panic started to flow in him.

He asked every person he met about Sirius whereabouts but no answer had led him anywhere.

"Where is he?" James started to feel anxious. Might be … might be there's something happened to Sirius and …

Sirius stared at the ring on his hand. Then his head started to throb, this time more powerful than before. This ring meant something to him, something very important, but what? How did it get here?

Then it slowly downed to him.

_Flashback_

Sirius peered from behind the bushes. The only place that's safe for him to hide was the Forbidden Forest. No students could go in there and Hagrid was quite easy to run away from. He knew he shouldn't go to the stands before. Harry was shocked to see him there and he almost fell off of his broom!

He could see the Dementors're floating around the castle. How he hoped he could see his son in a better view but he couldn't. He couldn't imagine Harry's reaction when he saw him. Did they tell him about Sirius? He didn't think so. When someone had a Godfather … mother as a killer, they prefer to hide it and pretend that they didn't know anything. That's the best for him not to know about him.

If only Pettigrew hadn't shown up, he would've been still in Azkaban, waiting for his death. Now he'd kill that rat for good.

He glanced at the teachers. McGonagall, his Head House in Gryffindor. Snape, Snivellus … good Merlin, he's still there. And Moony, his fellow Marauder Moony, the werewolf, the one he had thought was the spy … he had to apologize to him … after he finished his business with Peter.

Now let go of those thoughts. Harry's there, chasing the Snitch. It's been twelve years since the last time he saw him and Harry had grown more like his father. The Dursley might not be the best Muggle family to live with but Harry had grown well.

In the dog form, Sirius watched the game as it flowed. His son flew as well as James did. Merlin, he missed him so much, so much that it hurt him to realize that he couldn't see him again.

"And he'd never know the truth about Harry …"

Slowly, he padded down the way to the forest towards the cave he used as a shelter. Not the best place to live in but he had no choice. Like he'd said before, he could hide safely in the Forbidden Forest and their excursions at the Marauders' time were enough to make him know the Forest in and out.

Changing into the form of human, he laughed a bark-like laugh at his reflection on the water. "How times can change many things …"

He rummaged inside his pocket and lifted up a small wooden box in front of his face. Inside was the ring James gave him when he was proposing to him. The only thing that he could kept and restrained him from giving in to the dread he felt in Azkaban. The only thing that kept reminding him about the times they're together and happy. Just where did that time go?

"I'll never be able to return this to him."

So he decided to put it somewhere so that when he could get through all the problems laid before him alive, he would know where to look for it. Muttering a spell at the ground, he gave the box one last look before placing it on the ground.

"Good bye, James."

_End of Flashback_

"James … Harry … my son …" completely lost his strength, he collapsed onto the ground.

**TBC**

A/N: I'm sorry, really, really sorry that it took me so long to update. I hope you enjoy this one. The next chapter is going to be the last chapter … maybe. Still, R&R please! To all who have reviewed, thank's!


	8. Against All Odds

Disclaimer: As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to West life. The plot and the character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me.

Summary: See the first chapter.

**Forgotten Time**

**By Misaki Sakura**

**Ch. Eight : Against All Odds**

James was out of breath by the time he reached the entrance of the Forbidden Forest. This is the only place he hadn't looked Sirius for and he knew how damn wide it was. Making no further thoughts, he made his way inside.

"Sirius!" he called in a desperate tone of concern. No answer.

He looked around and spotted a cave not far from where he stood. Quickly he ran to it, heart beating fast.

"Sirius!"

Sirius was lying on the ground. Next to him was an empty wooden box. James didn't make any move, too shocked by the scene before him. After a few moments, he collected himself then ran over to Sirius. He checked his pulse and sigh in relief when it was still there. Quickly, he lifted him up and made his way back to the castle.

They were rounding Sirius' bed in the Hospital Wing, each face filled with concern and fear. Silently they hope that he'd open his eyes soon, especially James. So many things he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to apologize about … and seeing Sirius in that state once again ...

Harry couldn't help but let fear and worry engulfed him. He had just found his true family, his parents, and now he's in the brink of losing Sirius again. He didn't think he could handle this. Draco could sense that also and made sure he never left Harry's side.

Madam Pomfrey had checked him and said everything was right. All they had to do was wait. Wait for him to open his eyes, wait for him to greet them with his charming smile.

"What happened?" Remus asked him, full of concern.

James shook his head, suddenly found himself wasn't capable to say anything. Remus exchanged look with Harry and they decided to leave them alone.

_"Tell me! Do you think there's another thing that's more unforgivable than being that Potter's slut!" _

_"I **know** I'm in love with James. Happy?"_

_"I'll give you my baby."_

_"Lily's pregnant."_

"_Why did you lie to me?"_

_"Good bye, James."_

Good bye.

As he opened his eyes, Sirius found himself in the Hospital Wing once again. Shaking his head, he slowly lowered his feet and felt the cold floor under them. Carefully not to wake James up, he padded down the floor and walked outside the room.

"Sirius?"

He stopped upon hearing the soft voice behind him. James was awake.

"Hello, James. Nice seeing you all alive and well." He said with a tinge of sarcasm behind his words.

"Si-" then it dawned to him. "You remember me!"

Sirius nodded. "It's hard not to, don't you think? Oh well, I guessed I did that."

James went speechless as he felt a pang of guilt hit him. "Sirius, I-"

"Don't! Don't say any … thing …" he said between sobs. Damn those tears! He wouldn't break down in front him and gave him the chance to gloat. Despite his thought, his body went limp and he fell on his knees, covering his face with his hands while sobbing uncontrollably.

Saying nothing, James took Sirius' hands and pulled him into a hug. That's when he felt the darkness once again overcame him.

The day Sirius could leave the Hospital Wings was a week before Harry and his friends took the NEWTs. They had talked about so many things … Voldemort's defeat, about Lily and James, about Daniel, … and the most important was about them, as a family. Harry couldn't say that he wanted James and Sirius to be back together again but he could see the unspoken hope in his son's eyes.

He had thought about it too. His love for James had never changed and it seemed that James' hadn't either but to forgive the fact that James didn't trust him enough then made his heart ached.

Since then, he had seen James at all. He didn't come to the Hospital Wings and he didn't even there when he was out. While everyone was rejoicing his release, Sirius couldn't' help but to feel suddenly gloomy.

The morning after the feast Dumbledore held for him, he found a parchment with something scribbled on it. Sirius, out of curiosity, took a look at the parchment and immediately recognized it as James' handwriting.

_Meet me in the secret room now. I have something to tell you and it's very important. Please come._

Sirius bit his lower lip, frowning. Should he go?

"What's the matter, Padfoot?" Remus, who had just walked into the room, asked, eyeing the parchment in his hand.

"It's this, Moony." He answered, handing him the parchment James' wrote.

After perusing its content, which was only two lines long, Remus looked at Sirius. "Are you going?"

"I'm not sure. I mean … there've been so many things happened between us and not all of them are good and … I'm rambling …"

"Do you still love him?"

"With all of my heart, Remus, but will it do any good if he doesn't trust me?"

Remus sat down beside Sirius and smiled. "It's a past. A past is a past. Voldemort's defeated, we're not in a war anymore. The only thing that's in your way is James' pride, and yours. Both of you have wasted sixteen years, now when everyone's entering a new life, you have to enter yours. Can you imagine it without James in it?"

Sirius shook his head slowly.

"It's decided then. You have to go there quickly."

Sirius let out a laugh, though a bark-like one, it sounded like a song in Remus' ears, with a sparkle in his eyes that Remus hadn't seen since he had run away from Azkaban. His old friend was back.

"You know, I felt like stupid teenager again. Well, I have to go now. Thank you, Remus."

Remus smiled as usual. "I hope this is going to be a happy ending for both of you."

James was pacing back and forth. He had to make things good as it once was. The sound of the door opening brought him back from his thought. Sirius stood before him, as he muttered a spell to conceal the door.

"I found your note." He started nervously.

"Yes, thank you for … coming." Taking a deep breath, James took Sirius' hand and brought him to sit on the couch. With his eyes never leaving James', Sirius sat down.

"Okay, first of all … Sirius, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you sad, for … everything that I have done. I was stupid for not trusting you and to believe that you'd cheat on me … I'm sorry."

Sirius watched as the feeling of uncertainty filled James. He closed his eyes and drew something out of his pocket. A ring. **The** ring, the exact same one that James had given him the night he proposed to him almost over twenty years ago. And as James fell down on his one knee, Sirius felt that he's having a déjà vu.

"I love you, Sirius Black. Will you marry me?"

Sirius stared wide-eyed at the bespectacled man before him, the person who showed him that he's worth loving, the one that hurt him more than his parents had ever done to him, yet the same person he had loved for so many years.

James looked at him nervously. He could predict the answer by seeing Sirius' eyes filled with tears but he couldn't bear to lose his love again. Especially when he knew the said lover was still deeply in love with him.

"Do … do you think it'll be that easy, James?" the words left his trembling lips slowly, along with the tears that trailed down his cheeks. "Do you think by saying you're sorry, everything will go back like the way it was? It won't work, James."

"It will. We can try to make it work, Siri."

"Can we? After all that's happened, I … it's not that easy to forgive and forget, James …"

James face fell at this. He was about to give up when he heard Sirius said, "but I'm willing to give it a try."

"Padfoot! Does this mean you'll marry me?" James took Sirius into his arms as he saw him nodded.

_Both of you have wasted sixteen years, now when everyone's entering a new life, you have to enter yours. Can you imagine it without James in it?_

Remus was right. There's no point of having a new life without James in it. When James took his hand and slipped the ring in his finger, when he heard and saw the contented look their friends sent at them as they saw the ring, he knew it's the right thing to do. He's finally home.

**The End**

A/N: It's finally finished! Oh, hell, it's been a long time since I last updated this story. I'm so sorry for that. What do you think about the ending? Is it too anticlimactic? Should I write an alternative ending (probably about how they decided to live separate lives)? I thank all the reviewers. Thanks for reading and reviewing this story.

I'm writing a prequel to this story, 'Spark and Electricity', and it's going to be a chaptered one … again. Anyway, do any of you know Full House? It's a Korean TV series and I'm planning to write a story based on it. However, I don't know which pairing I'm going to use, James x Sirius or Severus x Remus. Here's the summary :

_AU. Sirius/Remus was a writer who tried to earn some money with his story while living in his parents' only inheritance. The house. Unfortunately, he lost his house because of his friend's/friends' deceit (old Petey or maybe Lily, or both). Having nowhere else to go, he lived in that house with the owner of it, a model and a movie star, (aka James Potter / Severus Snape) … as a servant._

Please tell me which one is better. Thanks!


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